Many years ago, for the first time when a friend said to me " learn to let go, do not try to be in control all the time", somehow the words stuck on in my mind for I saw some wisdom in it. How much within me or around me can i really control and do i really need to control arrogating myself that I know what is best for me or those around me?
Responsibility has a direct correlation with letting go..I feel responsible for the way my child turns out with years of my care and investment in him/her. If I let go all too easily ( in other words escape from the responsibility of raising the child) and start pandering to every tantrum thrown, I do not feel responsible enough for his/her long term well being. Today ironically after 19 years of parenting, i feel the need more and more to let go ( not because of the magical number 18 that makes one officially "adult") but may be because I have nurtured the little one enough, faltering sufficiently or so it seems today despite trying hard to inculcate so many habits that I deeply value. I see a highly individualistic person who i admire for so many things that I am not and will never be! She is herself, she is no clone of mine( thank God!). I needed to learn to let go early enough and steadily do more of the same to nurture the free spirit in my child that is not a replica of mine. I pay a price for having developed a contrasting individual sharing the same roof as me.
I admire her secretly for all that she is that I can never give myself the freedom to be! I mock at her secretly for trying so hard to be so unlike me.. I encourage her silently, not chiding her so much, for all that she braves to be that I still don't dare. I argue incessantly with her when she insists on being all that i never would, but funnily i don't try to change her for I value the fact that she dares to be herself. I secretly feel confident that she is quite ready to face the world on her own if need be..What more would we want for our children??
On the same topic...one of the most powerful lines I heard in the movie Black swan where the protagonist aiming to perfect her skills as a ballet dancer is told by her coach " Mastery is not just about perfecting skills but equally to do with one's ability to let go..." WOW..I loved it...and personally for me in the context of music, it is just bang on.
Responsibility has a direct correlation with letting go..I feel responsible for the way my child turns out with years of my care and investment in him/her. If I let go all too easily ( in other words escape from the responsibility of raising the child) and start pandering to every tantrum thrown, I do not feel responsible enough for his/her long term well being. Today ironically after 19 years of parenting, i feel the need more and more to let go ( not because of the magical number 18 that makes one officially "adult") but may be because I have nurtured the little one enough, faltering sufficiently or so it seems today despite trying hard to inculcate so many habits that I deeply value. I see a highly individualistic person who i admire for so many things that I am not and will never be! She is herself, she is no clone of mine( thank God!). I needed to learn to let go early enough and steadily do more of the same to nurture the free spirit in my child that is not a replica of mine. I pay a price for having developed a contrasting individual sharing the same roof as me.
I admire her secretly for all that she is that I can never give myself the freedom to be! I mock at her secretly for trying so hard to be so unlike me.. I encourage her silently, not chiding her so much, for all that she braves to be that I still don't dare. I argue incessantly with her when she insists on being all that i never would, but funnily i don't try to change her for I value the fact that she dares to be herself. I secretly feel confident that she is quite ready to face the world on her own if need be..What more would we want for our children??
On the same topic...one of the most powerful lines I heard in the movie Black swan where the protagonist aiming to perfect her skills as a ballet dancer is told by her coach " Mastery is not just about perfecting skills but equally to do with one's ability to let go..." WOW..I loved it...and personally for me in the context of music, it is just bang on.
